​Final game of the season and the Elite were looking to solidify their spot in Cap 5 after the mid-
season promotion. The day was as good as you get this time of year in Wellington and Newtown 2
wasn’t as sloppy as we expected – that said the grass hadn’t been mowed in 4-5 weeks so a slick
passing game of football would be difficult.
The starting formation had been tweaked slightly again from the previous weeks’ but it was a
familiar 3-2-4-1 and the personnel we had available was made up from a squad we’d had available
for the last 3 weeks – a welcome change to most of the season where we’d been struggling to field a
team without recruiting more than 3-4 “ring-ins”.
The game kicked off and straight away it appeared that Karori were pressing forward with 3 up top
which gave our 3 man defensive line something to think about – the lads dealt with all they threw at
us in the first 15mins before we started to get our foot on the ball and start playing some football of
our own. Turk and Levi were looking good when they could get the ball into their feet and with Saji
pushing high up he left flank we created a few chances – alas the final ball just couldn’t find it’s
mark. Karori had a couple of chances at the other end but a firm keeping performance from Shane
was keeping them at bay. The Elite linked a good move through the middle and Gazza was fouled in
the box – penalty awarded and with Shane in goal Rori took it upon himself to take it, trying to get
himself off the end of season nude run I think was the main focus, all looked good as Rori stepped
forward to begin his approach, he must have had a few options floating around in his mind as he
placed a his shot just to the right of the keeper who hadn’t been too decisive in his own mind and
was basically standing still in the centre of the goal and managed to save it…………The Elite deserved
that goal but it wasn’t to be. Stu made a few classic crunching challenges and you could see he was
up for the final game of the season. The first half came to a close and the score was locked up at 0-0.
The Elite were feeling good at the break and with a switch of Keeper and Striker with Turk and Shane
trading positions we were ready to go and stamp our mark on the game.
The 2 nd half kicked off and straight away the Elite were holding better possession and turning the
Karori defenders and getting our wide players involved to exploit the oppositions newly formed back
3. Gazza had another good run into the oppositions penalty area ended with more rough treatment,
this time however the ref waived play on, no penalty awarded. After some end to end exchanges the
Elite broke down the right with a pass infield to Rori who decided Shane needed to try again and
passed it straight back out to the right from a central position and Shane measured a cross into the
box which just alluded a rampaging Rori and feel to the man of the moment Levi who calmly
controlled the ball and waited for the keeper to square up before firing past him and into the far
post side netting 1-0 to the deserved Elite.
The Elite were playing well but Karori were enjoying some decent breaks and they fluffed a couple of
very good chances – the nervy Elite then managed to build some possession again and Levi took
control of the ball around 40 out from goal and sized things up before chipping the keeper from 30
metres using the sun to his advantage – quality strike and settled the game for the Elite.
All in all just the 2 nd clean sheet of our multi divisional season – Shane and Turk doing the job when
needed between the sticks………a great way to finish the season with 3 wins on the trot to secure our
place in Cap 5 for next season.

MVP points,
3: Levi – 2 well taken goals – what a quality end to the season!
2: Jase – Great game in defence – big effort and always coming up with the goods when required.
1: Isaac – Started off slow after a 4-5 weeks off but built into the game and added some good
composure in the 2 nd half.
It had been a tough season for getting a settled line-up but we managed to come through late in the
piece and all of the lads who helped us out this season are owed a few brews come the Elite Awards
which Rori will be confirming a location and date for later this week.
Thanks to Rori and Dave for putting in the effort to run the team and scrape around their contacts to
get past players to fill in our personnel issues week to week.
It’s been an up and down season lads but one which ultimately came good, I’ve enjoyed playing
alongside all of you and hopefully we have you all available for next season along with a few of the
regulars from years past who will either be injury free or finished travelling…….
Just a reminder to those who haven’t yet – pay your fines (myself included) – Rori will be wanting
these in by the end of this week if possible, if not contact Rori to advise when this will be done.
Thanks lads and looking forward to catching up soon for some entertaining banter whilst spending
our hard earned fine money.

Write-up By Garrick


​After a few close losses and a win last week against Brooklyn the Cap 5 relegation battle was really beginning to heat up. The equation was simple: to say up in Cap 5 we need to keep winning. If we lose, we needed Brooklyn to somehow also lose to bottom of the table Olympic - who hadn’t won a game all season.


Pre match conditions were kinda shit. Boyd Wilson is notorious for blowing a gale and  it looked as though the weather would play a big part in the match. While the Elite struggled through a warm up with as many layers on as possible, our opponents - VUW Beavers - had decided that staying warm on the sideline was more of a priority.


Inspirational skipper Shane won the toss and in a moment of divine intervention the weather cleared up. Things were looking good.


In typical elite fashion we fielded a new look lineup from last week’s winning side (@consistency), but the lads were up for it. Unfortunately, the lads weren’t that up for it in the first 10min and we conceded early on to a dusty goal that had a huge luck component. 1-0 VUW.


We picked ourselves up and got on with the job at hand. VUW barely had any field position after their early goal, and our 4-5-1 was starving them of possession. They couldn’t seem to leave their half, leaving their keeper taking goal kick after goal kick.


Stu got his head on the end of one of these goal kicks, sending the ball back towards their defence. Chasing the ball down I went in for a header and copped a boot to the fucking face - for some reason the ref seemed reluctant to call the foul but about 2 years later decided that he probably should. Up stepped Levi to take the free kick. Curling the ball around the wall reminiscent of 2004 Beckham he beat the keeper and we found ourselves on level terms. 1-1.


Given the Elite had the luxury of multiple substitutes, i took a spell on the sideline as Saji came on. We looked the better team from the sideline. Rolf, Rori, and Stu were putting in a shift in the midfield, we looked safe at the back, and Levi/Turk were managing to get on the end of just about anything we were sending their way.


Shane played a ball into the 18 yard box to Levi who absolutely sent his defender to the shops with a Cruyf turn and drilled the ball into the back of the net. 2-1 Elite.


In a rare chance the Beavers managed to get out of their own half and have a shot on goal. Nothing to bother CJ, though. CJ collected the ball and, looking to play the ball out quickly, got a bit eager and ran out of his 18 yard box still holding the ball. Surprisingly the ref let him retake the kick and we were back on our way.


It was about this time that some of the WAGS turned up (cc: Tim Haslop) so i actually missed Turk’s goal, but going into the break 3-1 up put us in a good position to go on and get the win.


The second half started and I found myself on the left wing. CJ absolutely drilled the ball my way and VUW’s right back couldn’t judge a header to save himself. I’m through on goal, getting chased down by their defenders, and wishing that i’d had one or two less park lanes the night before. VUW’s keeper pulled off a save similar to David de Gea (i scuffed the shot) and the opportunity went begging.


Every time VUW would come forward Stu/Rori managed to clean things up in the midfield and release Saji/Shane down the right wing. Saji/Shane were both putting in good yards delivering decent crosses. For whatever reason we couldn’t seem to finish our dinner though - we must have had 10+ opportunities and didn’t manage to score any of them.


Finally, after a nice bit of tight passing with Tim Haslop, the ball was whipped into the box. Turk ran near post and drew a defender with him, the ball sailed over both of them and fell to Rolf’s feet at the back post. Easy tap in for a 4-1 lead.


The lads began to play a bit more of the tried and tested route one footy from here on out, confident that the win was in the bag. For the last 15min or so the game opened up a little, but Tim/Jase/Ozzy/Fiaz were equal to anything VUW tried.


Final score:4-1 to the Elite. Back to back wins in the lofty heights of Cap 5.


MVP points:
3 - Levi: huge performance, scored 2 goals and was all over the park for the better part of 90min - impressive lungs after Friday night
2 - Jase: solid at the back
1 - Stu: consistent in the midfield, barely put a foot wrong all game.

Write-up By Tim

​​After a few competitive losses on the trot the Elite headed to Wakefield Park on a weird 8pm Wednesday fixture to take on the second on the table Tawa Christians (or something like that) who had only lost one in the second half of the season. The first blessing of the evening was for both teams however. A nice evening at Wakefield Park?! No wind, rain, hail, snow?! It was actually a nice night to play football. 

As had so often been the story of the Elite this season numbers were very slim. Even despite the uni break being over and having a few lads back in Welly we only managed 6 confirmed players by monday and as usual asked a big favour of champion Dave to scramble an eleven together. As usual, Dave pulled through, we had 13 and were ready to rumble. 

The Elite started a bit scrappy as was so often the case a few names in the makeshift eleven to learn. We fielded an extremely defensive lineup, with sole attacker Clem coming out of retirement just for this huge fixture. Perhaps he had renewed confidence with Le Bleu winning the World Cup, or maybe he just wanted to tell us all about it? Clem remained humble however and put in a massive shift up top and eventually we worked our way back into the football match. 

Our gameplan was to park the bus and frustrate the opposition (play the devil, if you will) and it worked very well once we managed to shake off the trademark first ten minutes rust. We worked the short goal kicks well, and Dan and Damo were communicating well at the back to keep the Christians shooting from distance. 

And out of nowhere we had a goal! The short goal kick worked again to our advantage. The ball was distributed to Gaz who played an excellent through ball into the French Menace up top Clem. Despite my yelling at Clem to pass it back to Gaz, Clem went for a (cross) shot instead. The ball sailed helplessly over the keeper and into the net. 1-0 Elite. 

This seemed to inspire the Christians holy battle however, and a few marginal calls from a very apologetic and chivalrous referee saw the Christians manufacture a few chances. Most notable was a free kick at the edge of the box after some holy spirit tripped their attacker (it definitely wasnt one of us?) However the free kick sailed haplessly over. 

The Christians were looking to suck our defenders out to the flanks and playing through balls through the middle (some could say, part the Orange Sea). Before the Elite could switch onto this game plan, they worked the move again with a vengeance. The ball ended up around the 6 yard box for a free shot. Despite CJ being a brick wall up until this point, there was nothing he could do here. 1-1. 

Oranges. 

The Elite came back out of the sheds at half time feeling confident of keeping the score 1-1 and maybe even sneaking in a goal to win. Some of our best football was played in these opening ten or fifteen. The Christians were only shooting from distance, and the Elite actually looked at times like snaking a goal, although these efforts were not fruitful (garden of eden joke).  

Eventually however, the Christians made this work for them, their winger bolted down the line as the defence stood him up. His shot from outside of the box was hardly what he was intending, something of a toe poke which somehow ended up being a curler; but the important thing for the Elite was that it somehow wriggled past CJ into the bottom corner, 2-1 Tawa. 

As we started to push forward the quality of football dropped, and Tawa were quite happy to let us attack, take the ball and shoot forward on the counter. In truth, from this point on, we never really looked like scoring. 

A valiant effort from the lads against classy opposition with a deity on their side. In truth, we weren't the better side on the day, but a performance like that with a makeshift side and a few players back from a few weeks out should give us confidence for saturday. 



MVP Points: 

2 - Rolf. Work ethic was unbelievable, did the hard yards for the team even when being forced to switch positions a few times. One of his better performances this season 
2 - Clem. His aggression was unrivalled, and managed to snag an important goal which put us in a good position to take something from the match 
1 - CJ. Made some excellent saves when called upon, worked the short goal kicks well, was an outlet to pass back to. 
1 - Stu. As always held up the ball excellently. We didnt have much possession, but when we did, it usually went through this man. 

Honourable mention: Lewis. Came to help out, ran like anything, was a communicator on the pitch and was great on the ball. Thanks for helping out mate. 

Elite 2 - 1 Olympic 

Write-up by Rori

Gidday
It’s your old mate Rori here.
Thought I’d pop on by and spin you a bit of a yarn about some lads that attempted to play some kick and chase for 90minutes on the weekend.
It’s been a bit of a rough old season for the stalwarts of the Elite with the stark realisation that with two seasons under the belt I am currently the second longest serving player in the team, fair to say this then is a bit of a rebuilding year with only 6 players from the last season coming back to form the backbone of the team. Despite this and the constant line-up changes those six have been absolute stalwarts week in week out, well except Angus who has decided he needs a new girlfriend so is heading to Korea to find one after this game after his successful conquest of Canada last year, oh and Tim who tends to think Uni holidays & partying is more important than the team, and don’t forget Jase who’s “Family Holiday” to the states was worth 6 games out…. Fuck it I’m beginning to realise I am the stalwart, the lynchpin, the backbone to this team not to mention the hero.

Right where was I, ahhh yes our season so far, well the first half was nine games and we decided to give nine different line ups a go, whoever said a settled line up was the key to success had clearly not seen how a patched and ramshackle Elite performs under pressure. With a hiss and a roar we showed up to the first game and promptly got spanked 2-4 but the Elite’s hero, stalwart and idealisation of discipline (Myself) was absent so we put that behind us and reset the next week. With our hero returned we continued the first half finishing with winning six, drawing one, and losing two scoring a mighty 28 goals and conceding 16, these results put us into second and promoted for the second half of the season to the mighty Capital Football Five (Which is not actually the 5th division it is in fact the 7th division) where occasionally we theoretically could get ref’s, yes yes they theoretically could be biased, over officious C*nts that had nothing else to do but complain about our socks but come dressed as a Full Kit Wanker with the cards to prove they are a serious referee.
Stable line up HA the Elite laughs at your football idealisms, 9 games, 9 line ups, second place WE ARE ELITE!!

Right round 13 here we are with our 12th different line up (Don’t let the 12 confuse you into thinking we tried the same line up twice, one game we had round 10 postponed), our fearless Captain Shane is claiming injury to head off surfing, but not to worry our longest serving member Tim is he…… oh wait no its Uni holidays he is off gallivanting half naked around a fairy pool in Auckland saying a prayer to whatever god/goddess/meth head/or hooker will listen to him to keep his duct tapped wrapped, diesel powered, sheila mobile running for another year, damn that means no chance of his sisters about during the game sigh, ahh well our hero Rori is here to step up taking the arm band and lead these lads through the trenches to victory.

We have a couple of new lads joining us today so shaped up in the unfamiliar 4,2,3,1 with yours truly between the stick and the intention to focus on defence and attack up the wings which right from the first whistle looked like it was going to pay off, our right side combo of Macka and Gazza were making were making a fair whack of it getting to the top but we just couldn’t find any sort of final product. The game settled into a pretty even back and forth with the Elite’s stalwart defence being by Angus and Dan as the dream centre pairing we had been waiting for nothing was getting through, Stu was dominating the centre of the park being an absolute anchor but the game truly opened up when we brought on Saji to give him a bit of a hand and you thought it was just a matter of time before we started putting them away, of course this is when the Greek’s scored, the elite caught on the counter and the lack of match fitness coupled with the wingback attacking style we were asking of Macca finally showed as the opposition broke down our right and with Macca struggling to recover unleashed a floating shot from the top corner of the box over the keeper and perfectly into the far top corner.
Well this was it, we could put our heads down remember the terror of the previous week where our keeper let in 7 in the first half or we could pick ourselves up, with a ROAR I let rip some words of inspiration that positively fired the blood we were the Elite and the Greeks don’t beat us in our house. Once again your hero saves the day my rousing speech was flowing through the teams veins as we immediately get back on attack and less than five minutes later we win a corner, Levi with my inspirational words flowing through him steps up to take the corner looks up and figures you know what this crossing business for others to take the glory is overrated so promptly flicks it with a curl coming in just out of the reach of the keeper into the back of the net.

Half time arrives at 1 all and the elite come off feeling a bit hard done by our, defensive triangle is absolutely dominating and our wide players are making the Greeks look like school children it’s just the finished product we are missing but with only a single striker Turk was working hard and we knew it would come. Queue more rousing speeches form your hero and the mighty Angus and we were back for the second half.

Peep the Ref in shades blows for the second half which was a much more worrisome battle the Greeks had clearly also had a rousing speech at half time and came out fired up, it was a half of strong football with Jase catching everything in the air anywhere near him and Stu unleashing some trademark Defensive Mid tackles, Rolf doing his trademark ballerina turns then whiffing shots. But the Greeks kept pushing forcing your hero in goal into a few scary saves including two close range shots saved right off the line, this just seemed to fire the Elite boys up even more turning the game on its head again as the Elite again took control and maybe got a bit too excited as Stu went sliding in full commitment about two seconds after the ball had moved on cause the Greeks to rile up and get shouty and one tried to drop Jase who was having none of it and seen as a bit too aggressive holding his ground peep 5 minute sin bin for Jase and the Greek as signalled by shades the ref. This just fired the elite up even more and heading into the dying minutes Turk finally managed to find himself bombing in form the top left of the box one on one with the keeper before performing his signature top spin toe poke which left the keeper on the ground and the ball comfortably far post in the back of the net.

30 more seconds and the final whistle came to a jubilant Elite who won a solid game of paddock ball kick, an amazing performance all round lads a good tough even game tha we kept our heads until the end. To celebrate we went back to the clubbies and drank up Angus' fine money until he was reminded it was his last game and he hadn’t scored a goal this season and he had a certain lap of the track to perform, he stopped buying beers after this the cheap c*nt.
 
Points
2 Stu – Dominating Display yet again
2 Angus/Dan – A rock in defence
1 Saji – Game changer when he came on
1 Turk – Not easy being up front by yourself but he worked until the end and got the result.
 
 
Good Luck Gus, I understand that may be your last game in Elite colours, it’s been a pleasure man all the best for the future and the girlfriend hunt.