BNU 2 - 1 Elite Write up Jay After a long debate/argument/discussion about the curly hair guy from cutting stones, how good he was, that we played well, that team was much better, about formation Blah! Blah! Blah! Finally it is Match day! Windy Wellington with no wind. Perfect pitch awesome atmosphere people turning up on time watching the Masters play. Tim forgetting the Teams Kit everyone blaming his hangover as the reason whereas Angus thinks it was just stupid of Tim. Haha. Another fixture on Saturday eve - ALL BLACKS VS Decs, Niall & Ganesy. With all the positive vibes and proposed new formation 3-5-2 First Half It took just about 5 minutes for Orange to get settled with the new formation. CJ & Shane upfront with nothing but goals on their minds. Orange looked pretty strong dominating from midfield Lt. Priscott with the amazing play making skills switching on the right flank to Blake, Blake without making any mistake crossing the ball over to Shane being intercepted and turns out to be a counter attack. Orange had great possesion through out half. CJ with his A-game on point making all defenders look bad, awesome ball control using his body and experience passing two defenders beating the goalkeeper side footed finish in the goal (Elite 1 - BNU 0 ) Everyone seems to like the new formation as it was attacking play displayed, great communication between Damo, Angus & Tim. BNU dominating the play and very much expected through balls to their one and only speedy striker not making any troubles to our defenders but a random accident (ball hitting on Jason's hand) on top of the box giving BNU a freekick and the score levels 1-1. Second Half Orange trying to keep possesion Nik & Turk on the wing constantly running! Some awesome sliding tackles by Nik winning the ball. Turk looked like Gareth Bale using his speed and dribbling skills on the wing few one two passes with Greg and CJ trying to cross the ball to Shane but having no luck. It wasn't to long when BNU finds the back of the net this time with a deflection from Rori (OWN GOAL IN ELITE TERMS). Niall outperforming the speedy striker with a One o One save. Last 10 minutes of the game was very fast. Orange on constant attacking game with N number of corners and N number of chances missed by Decs. Jay being overly ambitious and forgetting his position, few crosses and short passes creating chances but No luck again Hopefully it was Last game for Angus and Jay!! MVP Points: Very Tough one 2 - CJ- Impressive number 9, great ball control & amazing finish. 1 - Greg- Playmaking midfielder. 1 - Turk- Great skills on the wing and suprisingly helping Lads in defense for a change haha. 1 - Angus- Worked really hard always on Toes. 1 - Decs - a pity point. Pure and simple. It was a fine, crisp and braw-bricht moonlicht-nicht
But sadly our in-form squad was soundly dicked by a Petone team of speedy youths and firsts some of whom dropped 5 grades to do their worst A beatup was given to us kind-hearted blokes Like me, ye and Decs after 5 Jamiesons ‘n cokes. Or maybe he was sober but he sounded wasted All I heard was “TURK DEFEND – we’re getting pasted!” The game had started fairly bloody well in fact we scored first – The Shane and Greg double-act A fine move and finish from Greg just six short days Before Maw and Paw arrive to watch the All Blacks slayed! Just minutes before his goal Greg’s first-time curling shot Was saved by their keeps to prove to CJ that Polio he had not But as the game marched on, they improved and showed flair proving they had no childhood deficiencies except curly hair. Actually their best player was lithe, curly and quick as a snake I don't know his name so lets just call him Justin Slimberlake. He was perhaps twenty four, never drank or smoked a cig Probably eats 5-a-day, played in HANG ON ... IS THAT A WIG?! How much veggie soup did his Granny pump force feed To curl those hairs into a high performance scouring heed! He tore at us like he was stripping scum off a pastabake dish He made our best players look a wee bit pish! And he wasn’t alone – aided by Greasy Mullet ‘n Waxy Mop All left footers were N-Sync and surely from a level near the top. But I digress. Up 1 nil could we hold on til half way through? “No” said their CB and rocketed a goal from 30 maybe 32 Into the 2nd half and we’d rung changes that hadn’t set Profitting from our confusion they put the ball in our net. We quickly downhilled faster than lube-dipped Roger on a slide Except for a brief joy when Gav narrowly chipped one wide They were on top and came in waves down the left Their Cruyff turns, rifled shots and through balls were deft But Niall can be proud as he saved all he rightly could; their second half squad was mesmerising, really very good. And Steve gave them a boost with an controversial award of a pen after Nik got grabby in the box with one of their men. Later Steve made amends by not calling Roger’s handball And Rori pulled a massive back heel that was my favourite play of all! But aside from Turk and Greg missing easy chances to score We did ok against a team that simply had more. Match Points 2 - Damo for winning every battle. Might have been 3pts but didn't get any stars on my hoodie. 2 - Tim for covering all of my bad defending in this game and the previous one and probably all the future ones 1 - Niall mostly faultless. Probably could have been more angry with the rest of us at times! 1 - Greg - great goal, always available for an easy pass. Kept his composure longer than most of us. Write up By Angus
Elite 4 - 1 VUW On a picturesque Saturday morning in stunning Johnsonville the Elite arrived raring to take on the Vic Uni Scarfies, yet again, for what feels like the 10th time this season. With the opposition being almost logistically organized as Tim trying to locate the post match beers, Greg decided to take us on a military operation warm-up, thanks Lieutenant Priscott, we were finally away after a slight self urination incident. From the kick-off it was clear the boys were taking no prisoners and it is pretty safe to say we absolutely dominated them. Solid play in the middle from Lt. Priscott and Jade with some top class overlapping play from the full backs Timbo and Roge ensured we had the school children pegged back. After Shano gave us a much deserved lead with a poachers finish in the box and Macklemore (Nik) finally got a notch on the belt with a classy finish - dare I say goal of the season contender - outside of the box. Also, cheers to Skipper Adam for going between the sticks. Good nudge. A resolute defense made for a boring half in goal. Oranges - Further instructions barked by Lt. Priscott. With Skip coming on and Harry, crap sorry mate Henry, donned the gloves, cheers mate. The Elite were unchanged. Yet again, great link up play in the middle and both Jay and Jase came on to provide extra fresh legs, especially some defensive steel from Jase! Turk and Blake were constant threats all game and a terrific run down the left saw Turk play in Skippy who made it 3-0 to the Elite! Now I think.. the young uns pulled one back after a goalmouth scramble. A call was made to put Angus up top, dangerous I say, and with 10 to go he somehow found the back of the net. 4-1. Final score. Special mention to Harry, crap Henry, who made a great save in the second half. A big thanks to all the lads! For me my final game of the season, been an absolute pleasure fella's. Best of luck, do us proud. Damo, you better have my jacket before I leave. MVP Points: Tough one, great game all round. 2 - Lt Priscott. Really impressive all game, solid tackles. Spread the ball really well, great game. Also brave trusting Harry with your car.... 1 - Roger: Strong defensively, always an option going forward. Condolences for the election. 1 - Turk: Literally did everything right. A goal would have topped off an awesome shift - Sorry mate should've passed. 1 - Harry: Great first half defensively, up for headers and shut down their strikers. Big ups for chucking on the gloves and classy save. Cap 6 Friendly
Elite 0 Vic Uni Scarfies 0 Write up CJ Well a lovely sunny winter’s day greeted the early arrivers to Newtown No.2 with a lot of pre-match banter around Chrispy’s random Friday night texts to Dave including how he was referring to himself as Jesus and how a MVP needs an invite for a guest appearance! CJ looked to shoot this down quickly by explaining how he was at a loss as to how Chrispy with his lady-like hands could have ridden a mechanical bull for 26 secs the night previously and hence the source of his random message to Dave. All the while, everyone was wondering if Vic Uni were even going to turn up for the friendly and that Harry (sorry Henry) was to be fined for yet another Saturday morning bail out for being hung over (sorry sick) for the 2nd week in a row. As the late comers slowly arrived, so did the opposition so it was game on! This week we had Tim putting in an appearance as keeper to allow Niall another chance to pop his outfield cherry for the season. I was informed that Tim had even been out to the park earlier in the day for some keeping practice in anticipation of his stint between the sticks! This early morning warm up was to pay dividends later but was on display during an outstanding warm up effort which saw Tim throwing himself around to deny anything less than an unstoppable effort on target. If we knew then what we did post-match, Tim may have let a few in to give our strikers some confidence come game time :) Captain for the day Greg won the toss (take note Adam) and we turned around for a Uni kick off. First half saw the Elite trying to play football out from the back, feed our wide men and play our strikers in. We did this fairly well and created a number of chances. Unfortunately a lot of these were snatched at or dragged wide. Niall did have a chance with a set up volley which we would never have heard the end of if it went in - which it nearly did. In the meantime, Uni looked to pack the midfield and play through balls all half which the defence and a sweeping Tim did well to defuse. Other first half highlights, CJ with another clearance falcon, a Clem / Declan nut off (not sure if either understood the other) and a Declan nutting off at the opposition due to the numerous substitutions during the half. Half time and 0-0. Second half saw Tim retained in goal, Niall off for a spell and a sick lame Ganesy coming on at left back. Again, the Elite were having the better of the chances and play in the second half, which was at one point argued to be incorrect by the opposition, who were running rings around us. Not sure anyone else saw it that way. Unfortunately our woes in front of goal were to continue with Nik especially guilty of not popping his goal scoring cherry for the season with one effort sailing over the bar from 6 yards with the keeper nowhere to be seen. It’ll come Nik! However he wasn’t the only one, with a number of chances being missed by the team (refer warm up comment). The Uni lads meanwhile were persisting with their through ball play which the defence continued to manage well. They did have one good chance from a corner which was blocked and then cleared by Ganesy, which he claimed all credit for even when CJ pointed out Declan had also throw himself to the ground to block. Ganesy was having none of it which led to Dave calling arrogance fine on Ganesy! Other second half moments, CJ off with a pulled groin, Ganesy turning his ankle again (but playing on as CJ was in the showers) and Declan looking like he had given himself a season ending injury, only to pick himself up with a slightly pulled groin to play on for the rest of the game. As the game drifted to a 0-0 draw, in the last minute of the game Uni attacked on goal and had 2 or 3 chances on target but were to be denied a winner with Tim resolute in goal and ensuring the draw was played out. Overall a game the Elite should have won by a good margin, even as a friendly. However we will need to find our clinical best if we want to have a stronger second half of the season. MVP Points: 3 – Tim – Outstanding outing in goal! From his display in warm up, sweeping his area well, good goal kicks and great saves to keep the Scarfies goalless especially in the final minute. May have found another position for you Tim J 1 – Declan – Can’t fault the effort and passion from our own Irish Terrier. He even carried on playing with a pulled groin to finish the match. 1 – Damo – Sandy’s man of the match from the sideline. Tackled like a demon and won his 60/40 tackles all game. 1 – Clem – Ran his butt off all game at left midfield before his 5 month trip back home. |
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August 2018
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