Elite 2 - 1 Olympic 

Write-up by Rori

Gidday
It’s your old mate Rori here.
Thought I’d pop on by and spin you a bit of a yarn about some lads that attempted to play some kick and chase for 90minutes on the weekend.
It’s been a bit of a rough old season for the stalwarts of the Elite with the stark realisation that with two seasons under the belt I am currently the second longest serving player in the team, fair to say this then is a bit of a rebuilding year with only 6 players from the last season coming back to form the backbone of the team. Despite this and the constant line-up changes those six have been absolute stalwarts week in week out, well except Angus who has decided he needs a new girlfriend so is heading to Korea to find one after this game after his successful conquest of Canada last year, oh and Tim who tends to think Uni holidays & partying is more important than the team, and don’t forget Jase who’s “Family Holiday” to the states was worth 6 games out…. Fuck it I’m beginning to realise I am the stalwart, the lynchpin, the backbone to this team not to mention the hero.

Right where was I, ahhh yes our season so far, well the first half was nine games and we decided to give nine different line ups a go, whoever said a settled line up was the key to success had clearly not seen how a patched and ramshackle Elite performs under pressure. With a hiss and a roar we showed up to the first game and promptly got spanked 2-4 but the Elite’s hero, stalwart and idealisation of discipline (Myself) was absent so we put that behind us and reset the next week. With our hero returned we continued the first half finishing with winning six, drawing one, and losing two scoring a mighty 28 goals and conceding 16, these results put us into second and promoted for the second half of the season to the mighty Capital Football Five (Which is not actually the 5th division it is in fact the 7th division) where occasionally we theoretically could get ref’s, yes yes they theoretically could be biased, over officious C*nts that had nothing else to do but complain about our socks but come dressed as a Full Kit Wanker with the cards to prove they are a serious referee.
Stable line up HA the Elite laughs at your football idealisms, 9 games, 9 line ups, second place WE ARE ELITE!!

Right round 13 here we are with our 12th different line up (Don’t let the 12 confuse you into thinking we tried the same line up twice, one game we had round 10 postponed), our fearless Captain Shane is claiming injury to head off surfing, but not to worry our longest serving member Tim is he…… oh wait no its Uni holidays he is off gallivanting half naked around a fairy pool in Auckland saying a prayer to whatever god/goddess/meth head/or hooker will listen to him to keep his duct tapped wrapped, diesel powered, sheila mobile running for another year, damn that means no chance of his sisters about during the game sigh, ahh well our hero Rori is here to step up taking the arm band and lead these lads through the trenches to victory.

We have a couple of new lads joining us today so shaped up in the unfamiliar 4,2,3,1 with yours truly between the stick and the intention to focus on defence and attack up the wings which right from the first whistle looked like it was going to pay off, our right side combo of Macka and Gazza were making were making a fair whack of it getting to the top but we just couldn’t find any sort of final product. The game settled into a pretty even back and forth with the Elite’s stalwart defence being by Angus and Dan as the dream centre pairing we had been waiting for nothing was getting through, Stu was dominating the centre of the park being an absolute anchor but the game truly opened up when we brought on Saji to give him a bit of a hand and you thought it was just a matter of time before we started putting them away, of course this is when the Greek’s scored, the elite caught on the counter and the lack of match fitness coupled with the wingback attacking style we were asking of Macca finally showed as the opposition broke down our right and with Macca struggling to recover unleashed a floating shot from the top corner of the box over the keeper and perfectly into the far top corner.
Well this was it, we could put our heads down remember the terror of the previous week where our keeper let in 7 in the first half or we could pick ourselves up, with a ROAR I let rip some words of inspiration that positively fired the blood we were the Elite and the Greeks don’t beat us in our house. Once again your hero saves the day my rousing speech was flowing through the teams veins as we immediately get back on attack and less than five minutes later we win a corner, Levi with my inspirational words flowing through him steps up to take the corner looks up and figures you know what this crossing business for others to take the glory is overrated so promptly flicks it with a curl coming in just out of the reach of the keeper into the back of the net.

Half time arrives at 1 all and the elite come off feeling a bit hard done by our, defensive triangle is absolutely dominating and our wide players are making the Greeks look like school children it’s just the finished product we are missing but with only a single striker Turk was working hard and we knew it would come. Queue more rousing speeches form your hero and the mighty Angus and we were back for the second half.

Peep the Ref in shades blows for the second half which was a much more worrisome battle the Greeks had clearly also had a rousing speech at half time and came out fired up, it was a half of strong football with Jase catching everything in the air anywhere near him and Stu unleashing some trademark Defensive Mid tackles, Rolf doing his trademark ballerina turns then whiffing shots. But the Greeks kept pushing forcing your hero in goal into a few scary saves including two close range shots saved right off the line, this just seemed to fire the Elite boys up even more turning the game on its head again as the Elite again took control and maybe got a bit too excited as Stu went sliding in full commitment about two seconds after the ball had moved on cause the Greeks to rile up and get shouty and one tried to drop Jase who was having none of it and seen as a bit too aggressive holding his ground peep 5 minute sin bin for Jase and the Greek as signalled by shades the ref. This just fired the elite up even more and heading into the dying minutes Turk finally managed to find himself bombing in form the top left of the box one on one with the keeper before performing his signature top spin toe poke which left the keeper on the ground and the ball comfortably far post in the back of the net.

30 more seconds and the final whistle came to a jubilant Elite who won a solid game of paddock ball kick, an amazing performance all round lads a good tough even game tha we kept our heads until the end. To celebrate we went back to the clubbies and drank up Angus' fine money until he was reminded it was his last game and he hadn’t scored a goal this season and he had a certain lap of the track to perform, he stopped buying beers after this the cheap c*nt.
 
Points
2 Stu – Dominating Display yet again
2 Angus/Dan – A rock in defence
1 Saji – Game changer when he came on
1 Turk – Not easy being up front by yourself but he worked until the end and got the result.
 
 
Good Luck Gus, I understand that may be your last game in Elite colours, it’s been a pleasure man all the best for the future and the girlfriend hunt.

Elite 2 - 8 Tawa

Write-up by Jason

​Four days back in the country and I return to find the team had succeeded in being promoted whilst struggling to find 11 each week. Way to go guys! Looking around I saw a lot of new faces, some new and some ring ins. Ok, we'd done well so far, so today should be no different.

On to the game and as is usual the first 5 minutes was a tussle, each side sounding the other out. A simple through ball by the opposition had their striker baring down on goal, only a last minute lunge prevented a shot, but calls went up for a penalty that was not given, probably cause the ref had worn his sunglasses rather than his spectacles. It wasn't long before the opening goal was scored. A clean shot from the edge of the 18 yard box curved round the keeper and gave Tawa the early lead. 

We tried to put it behind us by making a couple great runs down the left and found some good touches, but alas Tawa had the ball again and was on an attack. Again from just inside the 18 yard box they had another strike and scored again. 2-0 down in a matter of minutes. Don't hold your breath waiting for the miraculous comeback because within a few more minutes it was 3-0. All hope of it being early game jitters was gone. We were looking down the barrel of flogging. We still fought to make it a game but heads were certainly dropping. 

I'll be honest and say I don't remember the sequences but I think the fourth goal came from a strike out on the corner of the box and into the top of the net, actually a pretty good goal. The fifth might have been one of Tawa strikers getting a lucky deflection fall to his feet and calmly side foot it into goal. Our goalie Rori did make a couple of good saves, tipping a goal bound corner over the cross bar at full stretch.  The luck we were having was on full display when trying to clear a ball from near our goal mouth, an attempted clearance ricochet off a few players and unkindly was deflected into our own net. Such was the way the game was going. So we are 6-0 down, bring on half time. No wait one second, we still had to endure a bit more suffering. An unfortunate kick struck the arm of our player and harshly the ref saw this one and awarded a penalty. And is typical 6-0 up in the first half fashion they let their keeper take it. The penalty struck the arm of our goalie but unfortunately still went in. 

So with a 7-0 half time score line our mid game chat was actually quite positive. Not that we'd win but that there was still some enjoyment to be had on the rather nice day. A personnel adjustment, saw Rori move to the outfield and myself go goalie, Rolf hung onto his temporary promotion to centre back and Shano took the winger roll from Lucas.

The second half started much better we were composed and enjoying some much needed time on the ball. We made some great combinations, some quick passing of the ball and looked like we'd make a game of it... well at least one half of it. Tim and shane were working well down the right and making great gains. Stu was busting up their midfield plays and Rolf was solid in defence. 

The first break through came with some nice passing down the left, Stu to Paul to Steve, who calmly passed the ball into the back of the net. We were off the mark and starting to enjoy some football. Our second goal came from a run by Shane down the right, he managed to get one on one with the keeper and clinically dispatched it.

We were on a roll and Tawa started to get really nervous. We were creating chance after chance and it was only either a really good or lucky goalie who was keeping our score to 2. A run down the left saw the ball go over the side line and a tussle between their player and Rori. A throw in from Rori into the Tawa player erupted into some pushing and shoving. The cool head of the ref gave each player a 5 minute stint on the sideline. 

Our opportunities kept coming, a close header, a looping shot from distance, an another one on one, it felt like we were only moments from our third. Tawa were making some breaks and found themselves with the ball on the edge of the box. A swinging shot from them left the keeper at full stretch but unable to prevent the Tawa 8th goal. 

An that is how it ended. Our worst loss (I think) for the season. With what felt like a makeshift team and people playing out of position. Lets hope we can recover for the next week.

MVP points,
3 – Stu, Usual class football even when we were under the pump
2 - Tim, A work horse from start to finish, plenty of full field length runs
1 – Rolf, Solid in defence when called upon, didn't complain and just got the job done.

Write-up By Shane

Elite 1 - 2 Cosmos


Flying high the newly promoted Wellington Utd Elite were full of confidence after sealing promotion by beating the top of the previous grade in a hard fought battle.
There were ominous signs when the team arrived – well those that could get there at the designated time anyway – Rori was standing around WAG on arm and standing in a muscle shirt - the Temperature would have been lucky to be in double digits. CJ was quick to walk up and without hesitation the words “that’s a fine” came freely from his mouth.
While getting changed the Elite were confronted by a self-appointed referee (more on this douche bag later) who made it known that for future away fixtures we had better have a 2nd strip available as our socks matched that of our opposition……such a nice guy though let the game go ahead, that’d be the last favour the Elite would receive.
The warm up run by Rori was quick to get underway – looking to impress the WAG I’m guessing. The Elite seemed up for the game – a few new faces in the line-up as is the norm.
We caught a glimpse of the opposition and to our surprise they appeared to be a Masters squad, crafty older guys was the thought and our observations were to be proven with some gamesmanship once we got underway.
A makeshift starting 11 was finally advised to the squad after much confusion, we took to the pitch and had a slow start with the opposition spraying some passes around and when we got on the ball we were rushing from defence to attack with ambitious balls. Once we settled in though the Elite started to fine space in behind the fullbacks which we were unlucky not to able to convert. Que the ref to start to get whistle happy and for any 50/50 contested balls he would blow things up not allowing much flow for either side. After some fast paced end to end football from both sides the half time whistle blew – the ref was happy to be able to blow his pea again so everyone went into the break reasonably happy other than Dave who on the sideline was shown a yellow card for asking a question of the ref on a basic call he got wrong…..
The Elite chattered at half time about playing more passing football with the ball on the ground as the long ball up to the strikers wasn’t getting us much reward.
The second half started and we started linking together some good phases of possession and passing which was a bit of a confidence boost for the squad. With a sweeping fast paced break down the left wing Travis broke into the box and managed to square the ball under pressure by 2-3 defenders as well as the keeper, Shane was lucky to just have to react with a side footed finish into an empty net 1-0 Elite.
It wasn’t more than 5 minutes later and the opposition managed to break free and their strikers linked well for an equaliser 1-1.
Both teams were trying to get into the game and assert themselves – trouble was the ref wasn’t allowing anything and was still blowing his whistle far too often, the Elite were guilty of talking back and asking too many questions of the ref – warnings were given to the Elite lads and Shane as captain was growing increasingly frustrated.
There was some good fast football working for the Elite with one move seeing Turk break into the box and have a challenge put in on him only to be able to lay the ball back to Shane who may have snatched at the chance a little and their keeper managed to make a great reflex save.
Tim and the Elite defence were dealing expertly with the Olympic strikers and giving them nothing it was impressive to watch how we kept thwarting each wave of attack they tried.
The ref blew for yet another free kick or three for Olympic, I can’t recall if it was a free kick or a corner which was poorly defended by the Elite – CJ was blocked in goal and one of the Olympic centre halves managed to bundle the ball into the net using his chest on the far post, disappointing for the Elite who had repelled these situations well up until this point 1-2.
The Elite created a few more chances but the ball just couldn’t find the back of the net, either their keeper would make great saves (with plenty of noise from their supporters) or our shots would be partially blocked.
Rolf asked the question of a hand ball in the Olympic penalty area where the ref responded with a “that’s never a hand ball” referring that a raised elbow in the box is a natural position……yellow card for the question though.
Rori then decided to check a couple of their attackers and after a little bit of “banter” with the ref he was shown a yellow also.
Not long after and Rori was penalised for a push and then spoke to the ref in a way that ref regarded as disrespectful and was shown a straight red, first in Elite history we were later informed by CJ. Harsh call and something Rori was remorseful of afterwards.
10 man Elite were taking the game to Olympic and the opposition were becoming very nervous and sitting deeper and deeper allowing for the Elite to be camped in the opposition half. The Elite just couldn’t make it count and the game ended, guttered!
The Elite’s first game up in Cap 5 didn’t go to plan but we showed we are more than capable in this grade and we should take confidence from how we played in patches.
 
MVP points,
2 – Tim, great game and dominated their attackers.
2 – Stu, for someone suffering from the Flu he was all over the pitch and providing great link play in Midfield.
1 – Travis, a great outlet and gave us good impetus in attack.
1 – Isaac, great composure on the ball and was unlucky not to get on the scoresheet late in the game.

Elite 2 - Tawa 1

Write up by Turk.

​The Elite went into this top-of-the-table match with modest expectations; With always-late Turk responsible for the kit, Kengo shuffling the letters of his name into “K, Gone” and many other players away, it felt best to assume things might not go well against the league’s top team. At stake was the possibility of an Elite victory seeing both teams promoted into the dizzy heights of Cap 5. 

But things got off to an unexpectedly fantastic start!
Turkey was early and 100% of the things that were washed were clean *and* dry. Other things that were left hidden at the bottom of the bag… yeah not dry.  This upset CJ as he fished out a soaking old keeper top that was supposedly his favourite (I call BS - he just wanted another angle to fine a Turk!). 

The warm up was pretty tame for such a big match. No shooting drill was had and no high tempo preparation. Would this be regretted?

The early minutes of the game saw the teams trading jabs and sizing one another up. After 10 mins it was hard to get a read on who the important players might be. And then Tim stepped forward with a right hook to their previously untested jaw! The build up to the goal was efficient as a central ball was controlled by Gav and laid on for an onrushing Tim. From 18 yards he first-time curled low into the bottom right corner, clipping in off the post! It came a bit too early and unexpectedly to generate the kind of celebratory response it warranted but it was a quality strike.  

From there concerns grew that we might be on the ropes for a lot of this game holding on to our slim lead. Much of the first half involved us throwing possession away as the low sun blinded us on attack. But as good as their mids and attackers threatened to be they found our defence formidable and any spark was quickly nullified. Angus was a monster getting a head or a toe on all incoming balls. At one point he took a body shot that left him winded when blocking a goal-bound shot, but he was back for more punishment instantly. Dan on one side of him looked far too comfortable for a guy who’d already clocked 90 mins. And Faizulla continued his good form (better every week) by combining determined defending with a genuine attacking threat running out from the back. There were a couple of times where he overlapped and continued his run up the pitch which I don’t think we expected so he never got the ball back, but it’s a real option now we know about it. 

Apart from Tim’s goal I think our only other first-half attack was a Tim cross that dropped invitingly for a Rolf Van Persie half-volley that dipped wickedly and skimmed the top of the crossbar. Rolf made a noise that made you think he knew it was a great chance to avoid a nudie run at end of season!

Into the 2nd half and we fortified the defence for another onslaught. The mood of the game was pretty good so far - there wasn’t any real aggro in the 1st half but as the minutes ticked by in the 2nd you could feel tension building. They were frustrated and it only got worse for them :)

CJ made 4 or 5 top saves that kept them out. They were getting quite a lot of shots from the edge of our box but CJ was getting his feet or his guts or anything in the way to repel the threats. He wasn’t getting any peace -  the poor guy just wanted to have a nap in the goal to clear his hangover.

So it’s 1-0 and our defence is keeping us in the game when a counter attack opportunity sees Turkey receive the ball at halfway. He sees Tim bombing it down the left and releases an optimistic through-ball for him to chase. Tim turbos ahead of the defence to collect it, takes it wide, looks up and sees the goalie has left his near post empty while anticipating a cross, so he casually slots it into the net from a tight angle! Wow! I loved the goal but I also loved that their keeper was embarrassed - he’d been a thoroughly sh1t bloke all day :p

2-0 to us only increased the tension and Tawa did then find a goal. A long ball from the centre back should have been prevented by Turk and then cut out by Faiz but was just missed and despatched into the corner by their striker, 2-1.

Angus ratcheted up a gear as the opponents turned the screw. One massive tackle at full stretch melted one of their attackers as he prepared to shoot, leaving him clutching an injury but it was a solid fair tackle. To make matters worse for Tawa, Damo came on for some extra niggle, and Rori had gone full beast mode by 2/3 of the game breaking up play in defence and midfield - and even howling in approval at Angus’ mega tackle. But the thing that really upset them was Rori punting a ball into the next field to delay their throw in. Some real hate was generating - in particular from their screw-loose in goal.

Into the last 15mins and all the energy saved from the no-warm up would be drawn upon - a masterstroke by Rori. We had a couple of long shots towards the end, including Tim trying for a magical hat-trick goal from 30+, and Paul Gav-scogine chipping over a defenders head with his left to shoot with his right, but nailed it at the keeper. Gav had a good game and looked at his best when he took extra touches to hold up play.

A mention too for Rahmatulla who had his best match yet - making good tackles on the wing and offering an option to receive the ball. One area for him to focus on is nailing that final pass/cross - keep going and it’ll come. He nearly burst his lungs with a couple of big sprints in the 2nd half including one that ended with a two footed lunge to try stop a ball going out. It was clearly a long-jumping technique he’d picked up from Newtown 1 and I’m betting it caused a mean wedgie.

Every single player put in a shift (oh, forgot to mention Isaac was a WALL in midfield) - it was an epic team win and one to be well proud of. As it transpired we did finish 2nd in the table and are promoted to Div 5. Well done boys!

Hard to choose where to spread the points but :

Points
3: Tim - a very good performance everywhere.
1: Faizulla - good in defence and attack
1: Angus - a monster of ball winning, comms and leading by example
1: Rori pips CJ by a bawhair with his commitment to winning via any method necessary.