Elite Vs VUW Scarfies, Kelburn Park
Elite 4 - Scarfies 3
Write-up by Tom
The day started with some fines. Namely, Adam and Dave failed to do their duty and put out a team line up for us, nor did we even know when to turn up to the game for. Then, surprise, surprise, Adam and Dave once again failed us, by forgetting to actually ask the rope-ins to play football for us! Thankfully in the end we had a team turn up and a kit so we got down to business.
‘Twas a beautiful day, nice and sunny. There was a fountain gushing high into the air. Birds chirping away like it was spring, and even a few on the sidelines but alas, Tinder Todd was not around. Cheery moods were in swing, and high spirits found all around. Then disaster. Something in black. A balding head. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named. A ref.
Things started well for this ref, with him proceeding to fall over onto his backside before even kick-off, allowing us to grasp early his understanding of such laws such as gravity, along with other rules such as offsides, fouls, back talking, swearing, and most importantly, sign language.
But kick-off happened, as it does, and running about we went. We soon got into the flow of things and looked threatening until route one open for business. A ball went over the Wellington United defence and was rolling towards Dave/Josh when he was suddenly struck down with a case of blindness, allowing the rolling ball to be taken by the opposition and slotted home. Thankfully Steve was nice and compassionate towards Dave/Josh and let bygones be bygones.
We resumed the game with a bit of shock but resumed normal business and started attacking them with intent. Horton was sure that today was his day, the day that a cure was found for HIV and cancer, a day that all poverty was eradicated, a day that led to world peace, a day that Horton scored on. Soon he had his chance, a lovely through ball (I think from Bryn) came through into the box and Horton was one and one with the keeper. We all turned our backs, starting to run back for the goal kick that was going to happen when the unbelievable happened. Horton scored. Yes, Horton popped his cherry.
Wellington soon took control of the game and started to dominate the possession, playing some lovely football across the field and looked threatening. This play soon came with just rewards, as Wellington brought in a flurry of goals, courtesy of Horton, CJ and Liam, that led to us taking a 4-1 lead into half-time (I do apologise for a lack of information regarding the goals but I’ve forgotten it all by now!).
While Wellington was leading with ease there was another battle on their hands. The ref. He had terrorized us with his decisions and especially with his communication skills. He had delivered many a raised hand to people without explaining the actual meaning behind this foreign and strange gesture, show casing us a fine case of aphasia (medical jargon for not speaking right). It should be noted that it is commonly used by policemen to indicate “STOP” but this went over our heads.
With the refs warnings ringing in our ears and setting our blood off, we resumed the second half against 12 men. The ref bullied his way through the half, refusing many a simple call to Wellington all while giving his full support to the opposition. Wellington started to look out of shape, and let in an easy two goals.
After the opposition’s third goal, Pete gave us some kind words of encouragement, making our heart swell with hope and courage. Sadly, the ref did not like this change in us and proceeded to book Pete for the first card of the season. What a disgrace Pete! Bringing shame to the team name!
The match continued in much the same fashion, with Wellington struggling to play against the ref-favoured opposition and we started to hold onto the edge of our seats. Steve picked up a yellow card for looking at the ref and the opposition started to push at our defence.
The ref signalled for ten more minutes. Ten minutes later he added on another five minutes. And then another five for luck. Finally the ref became bored of his dictatorship and blew full time.
A hard fought battle with many swings and turns that left us victorious.
Final score 4-3 Wellington United Elite.
3- Horton. You know why. Just stop grinning about it alright.
2- Bryn. I believe him and his fine mo gave us four assists for the day and also set up many other opportunities. Well played.
Split three ways, maybe a third each?
1- Gainsy. For turning up sober. Please don’t do it again.
CJ. For bringing a pack of snakes and sharing them at halftime. Please do it again.
Steve. For putting a foot or head in when it was needed. Most of the time at least.
-500 (note negative) for Pete, for bringing us down with our first yellow card. Tsk, tsk.
Elite 4 - Nth Wellington 1
Write Up by Scotty.
As we reach round 10 of the season and off the back of 4 straight wins, it's time for the Elite machine to rumble on to the fresh blood of North Wellington.
Having traveled up to hosts in Johnsonville, it soon became apparent that both teams were going to be up against it with adverse and treacherous weather conditions but both teams manned up and the game went ahead.
The game kicked off with what could be characteristically the new fashion of starting strong, with some great runs and passes, eager to get ahead in the game, whilst North Wellington resorted to long ball/route 1 football from goal kicks that only Sam Alladyce or the 1970's would be proud of.
The Elite had complete control of the game with Adam, Stu bossing the center midfield and the back 4 dealing with the attacks. Horton was unfortunate not to put us in an early lead with a one on one but was met with a great save and also Crespo just putting one past the post.
However despite all the dominance first blood was drawn to North Wellington when against the run of play they managed to counter on an Elite corner and slotted the ball to a player who was at least 3 yards offside who then ran on to a one of one with Josh to dispatch the ball into the back of the net. 1-0 to the hosts.
Perhaps in the past this could of been a concerning time for the Elite having gone behind but instantly we were back in their faces and pushing for that equaliser.
Stu had what could of been a 'goal of the season' contender with a 35 yard pile driver destined right for the top corner but out of nowhere the keeper pulled off an unbelievable save to keep us at bay.
With the pressure mounting justice was finally delivered when Pete made a fantastic run into the box with the ball at his feet and through a group of players managed to slot the ball past everyone into the far corner in true Henry-esque fashion! A great finish and finally the break we needed.
There was an incident in the first half when an Elite defender slid in and chopped down they're number 8 just outside the box in true 'Chopper Harris' style which resulted in a free kick but I can’t for the life of me remember who that was so it will have to go unpunished I guess…
After the equaliser it was all one way traffic and in almost no time afterwards we took a much deserved lead when from a beautiful corner to the back post, Bryn the Aussie leapt from Down Under (I don't care what anyone says, that's a great pun) to head in our much deserved lead. 2-1 Elite.
What began with what looked to be like a great, close contest, it actually turned out to resemble more of a training ground routine as The Elite played the second half in mirror fashion to the first, strong, confident and in complete control with no signs of North Wellington challenging for a spill of the points. There was beautiful one, two's. Passing triangle's around the opposition, playing the ball back to one another, truly beautiful football to watch.
From the moment we got our equaliser there was only one team in the game and everyone was too on form to let it slip. Damo, Ganesy, James and Steve were solid at the back. Niall, Adam, Stu and Bryn controlled the midfield, Josh had a solid and confident presence in goal and the strikers kept the pressure on.
The Elite were awarded a corner and Stu stepped up to whip in a lovely in swinger straight towards the keeper only for the keeper to punch it back into his own net, Stu can probably take the credit for that as it was on target and he deserved a goal after the great effort from earlier. 3-1 Elite!
With no sign of North Wellington getting back into the game, the Elite put the final nail in the coffin with our 4th making it 4-1! Adam picking up the ball from 30 yards out to unleash a beautiful strike that seemed to dazzle the keeper and go straight into the top of the net! Great goal and started what was looking to be a rout.
The great play continued with good passing and team work, solid defending and plenty of pressure but nothing else really happened apart from Horton being the unluckiest player I have ever come across when the keeper just refused to let him score with some great efforts on goal met with equally great saves. I actually made a comment on the side-line that I think Horton may need to get exorcised by a priest to lift that curse, besides that the game ended.
Fulltime result 4-1 to the Elite!
Another emphatic win making it 5 on the bounce as the Elite's strong campaign moves on! Every single player on the team deserving credit.
Match points awards:
3 point's - Bryn.
An absolutely top display, you couldn't fault him for one thing (maybe for being Aussie but not for football) fantastic crossing, passing, tracked back and got a goal.
2 point's - Adam
Absolutely awesome display in the middle of the park, won everything, linked up well with Bryn, fantastic passing & scored a goal. True captain's performance.
1 point - Horton
Ok so I can imagine maybe a few eye brow's raised then but hear me out; No matter how many time's his shots were saved or missed the target, he never once moaned or blamed anyone/anything else. He just got his head down, worked hard & kept going with some great ball's out to the wings, good through ball's, read the game well, retrieved possession and desperately unlucky not to score. Great enthusiasm. Remember though mate, the power of Christ compels you!
Wellington United Elite 2 Tawa Saints 0
Write up by Stevo
And then it was the hallowed turf of Wakefield Park for the next instalment of Elite’s dramatic mid-season run...
The next cab of the rank was Tawa saints we have battled well with them in the past normally coming away with the lollies. We should have hung and fore quartered these misfits in our last encounter needless to say the feeling from the Elite faithful was to slice up those hindquarters and dish out the back straps.
To our ring-ins that helped out...
Half the team turned up late, whinging about the cold and milling around like stuffed Meerkat’s trying to physic out the opposition.
Thanks to Pistol Pete and Capt. Adam we slotted a platoon together that resembled half of the usual cats with a bigger cat at keeper in Scottie and “DJ” Stu making the ranks of forward only because it was Wakefield Park. Good thinking Capt...
From the get go we pretty much dominated possession and strength on the ball, whatever ball Tawa did have was getting swept up by the awesome defensive line with Gansey assisting Bryn and Pete holding things up for Josh and Niall to distribute into the middle.
Pete needed a special mentioned with his scrimmaging skills to prevent the ball from getting away.
Great assistance from CJ on the side lines made for an effortless flow of handy and fit players to mix in when fatigue or the game plan needed fine tuning. And then it happened 20 minutes in after a few shots and a one on one by Adam, Bryn made a long run down the side-line and delivered a peach of a ball to Stu who pretty much didn’t even needed to jump to head in another class goal, that’s 2 notches on the bed post for Stu this season.
The game flowed along with only a few corners either team could have sorted, but the best moment was having Scottie punt a ball 65 metres all of the Elite looking stunned and went into our usual places for an opposition goal kick.
Half time meant more of the same with Damo slotting into the back forming our rock solid defensive line 2 goals conceded in the last 4 games I might add.
Bryn slotted into whistle blower but he was more of a ground crew airman directing Iroquois. The pressure was starting to tell on Tawa as they got less and less possession their heads were down and pretty much resorted to route one football. Their Keeper was pretty much holding them in the game. It wasn’t long before the pressure was starting to tell, the Elite was pushing more men forward which resulted in a nice link from Niall then Nips to slot another one in the Onion bag..
Pete wants to know why he’s called Nips can anyone help him out?
Not much more to report except Adam wanted to score but didn’t he even fell over the ball to beat 2 defenders...
Result ended Tawa were slung and Elite posted another 3 points, a poor result at the pub gentlemen but at least the fines table looks happier..
3:- Stu scored and set up some picture perfect balls reducing the amount of foot work required, has another spring in his step at Wakefield.
2:- Gansey Solid at the back very little got around or over him, plus your stories pre match are comical.
1:- Bryn Good ball work and passing in the first half and letting the game flow in the second, quality…
Bring on North Wellington. The Elite are on a roll…….
Live footage of Ganes being an Athlete below....
Elite vs Olympic TFT
Write Up by Damo
Wellington United Elite 2 – 1 win over Olympic
The Elite were struggling for numbers this week with some of the usual suspects injured, away or just soft.
A late night Friday text stating we were in need of a striker , probably left many of the Elite wondering where this weeks goals might come from with the ginger assassin and silver fox both relegated to the sidelines.
Turning up at Mcallister Park, the home of football , the fields in a pristine mud condition, this was going to be a day for traditional Wellington wet weather football.
Going through the usual pre game rituals, Gansey telling us about last night, then almost throwing up, the new players being introduced as Jamal thus followed by the old gaffer reinstating that we don’t loose to Olympic and we want to do the double – the team of athletes was ready to take the field!
With half the field in a playable condition, and the other half good enough for mud wrestling this was going to be a game of 2 halves, literally.
The first 25 odd mins the Elite seemed to have the run of play with Olympic resorting to the long ball or breaks to try and get a sniff.
Stu was pulling the strings in midfield with perfectly placed “in the air” switches and through balls
Horton was at his usual best – missing a 1 on 1, and a few pass backs to their keeper, with Liam the ringin striker also proving to have not lost his touch (after Pete had queried him on this pre game)
But the Elite was creating chances, surely a goal was to come….
Gansey, coming off the back of another bender was at his graceful best with some mud dancing and great line balls, before being taken out in a poor slide tackle – 1 sub gone
Horton, not to be outdone and wanting to keep Gansey company on the sideline, then fell victim to his shin splints and was off… - 2 subs gone ….
Josh, in the Elite goal, filling in for Davey Boy had a fairly quite first half with the couple of Olympic chances inside the box snuffed out by some standard Elite defending – including Stu, who was playing box to box it seemed in this first half.
The Elite started the second half with just the one substitute, and a few players that were sure they weren’t going to make the 90 min mark… but it was game on! Apparently attacking the “better” half of the field ….
United kept the pressure on in the second half, with Stu again pulling strings in midfield and Tinder Todd playing more as a striker rather than a defensive mid
The home team had introduced their secret weapon upfront a striker called “bull” who almost crushed Pete in a 10m slide tackle – but the Elite weren’t running scared
The pressure was resulting in corner kicks for the Elite, which Doug was struggling with in the “puddle corner”, however a few great deliveries saw a bit of ping pong tennis in the box which the Elite were unlucky not to convert and Tinder putting a header chance over the bar.
At the other end Olympic were starting to use the long ball well and put pressure on the United defence – with a change needed , Liam decided he had enough upfront and had busted his nut for 70 mins (first game), however he was beaten to the sideline substitution by Stu, who had been one of the stand out players most of the game.
On came the game changer …. Niall
Niall playing upfront in his lucky boots was looking for his first of the season, and with the ball at his feet Pete went to beat their right midfielder and play Niall in….
However this worked better for Olympic with Pete gifting the ball to their right midfielder, who delivered the perfect cross only to be headed in by a late Olympic far post run, Elite 0 –1 down… against the run of play, Pete gets an assist.
With the Elite chasing the game there were shouts to go to 3 at the back and send one player forward, we decided looking at the backline that Steve was the best option (goal conversion record)
Almost immediately this had an impact, with Olympic seemingly switching off thinking that 1-0 was enough to beat the mighty Elite.
Step up Tinder Todd, a lovely pass to him inside the box off another Elite players knee, Todd managed to flick his head backwards like a swim suit model and the ball sailed into the top left hand corner…. 1 – 1
The Elite could sniff victory, with Olympic looking like they had no tricks left up their sleeve….
Some great build up play again from the Elite, playing pass and move football, saw Tinder Todd for his second at the back post… 2-1 Elite
With the final 5 minutes of play remaining the Elite pressed on for a another goal, but had to settle for the 2-1 win, the first double of the season, and who says we need our strikers when we have Tinder at defensive / goal scoring mid!
Not a bad second half effort given we had the one sub and some gutsy efforts to get through the 90
A quite beer at the pub after the game to reminisce on the win, the Elite were happy, and Tinder Todd headed off to see if he could turn his 2 goal bag into a hat trick on Saturday night in town.
3 – Stu, was great in the first half, box to box, and switching play
2 – Todd, 2 goal hero, went about his quite self and worked hard all game
1 – Doug, had a hard time with the corners, but was causing trouble all day down the left
Special mention to Liam, who if an Elite player would have picked up a point today – came and payed the full 90 and got stuck in! Gives Crespo something to live up to… a full 90!
Elite Match Reports