Elite 3 - Miramar 1
Sitting in 5th with a mathematical chance to go 4th and facing Miramar who would finish in 3rd regardless of the result, we arrived to find preseason foes the Naenae Nighthawks trampling some of the bobbles out of what was a particularly moist Miramar 2.
With little on the line in this end of season dead rubber we could throw caution to the wind, I mean, not “play Damo up front” carefree, but we did promote Ross into the midfield after Stu saw the weather forecast and reviewed his availability for the match.
Dave put on his gumboots.
Ross pissed and moaned about the cold.
Clem went in search of an extra layer to protect himself from the wind which he found in the shape of a spare, but comically ill fitting, XXL keepers jersey.
Did I mention it was colder than a bucket of snowman piss?
Warm up (at least we tried to) was your standard affair. A bit of passing, some tiki-taka-yolo and then a good spell of blasting balls at parked cars.
Instead of standing around talking tactics we opted to get the match underway as soon as possible and get the blood pumping again. Suffering a bit from the cold Adam decided to increase the blood flow to his face and then promptly took a dirt nap while Ross and CJ chuckled with concern.
Despite the sideways rain, intermittent hail and a bit of double vision we had started well and with everyone working hard enough to stay warm we enjoyed a bit of success down the wings. Unfortunately the best of the early chances fell to Adam and were smashed well over the bar. His usually deft finishing clearly suffering from the earlier power-falcon.
A wee bit of clinical route one later and Miramar were in with a chance, the ball sat up between backline and keeper and the Miramar forward finished calmly over CJ’s head. CJ got chipped. Not the other thing. Giggity.
More hail. CJ steals Dave’s beanie. Everyone steals Rogers jacket.
In what turned out to be a superb managerial decision, Ross who had definitely not been drifting out of position more and more as the game wore on pinballed his way through their backline, scored, faked an injury, and subbed himself off. It was magnificent. Like watching a young Crespo.
Half time: 1-1 - The wind is still colder than a fart from a dead Eskimo.
Game on again. Rosco latched onto a through ball and gave us the advantage. 2-1 Elite. The rain and wind kick it up a gear and it all gets a bit slippery out on the pitch.
Decs got told off for shouting at everyone and then provided the following punditry gold;
“Hoof it up the field, Ross is f@cking quick”
“Don't try and play football”
“Simple balls to feet” (presumably these simple balls were meant to be after you had hoofed it up field while not trying to play football).
Anyway, I digress. Down 2-1 Miramar enjoyed a decent spell but couldn’t convert, their best chance coming from a Tim Haslop back pass that wrong footed our custodian and was only kept out by the post and a healthy southerly.
Looking to kill the game off we won ourselves a corner. The delivery from Decs came straight back to him, then back into the mixer for an unmarked Ross to steal in and complete his hattrick.
At this point the wind, rain and scoreline was too much for our hosts who offered to shorten the game by 10 minutes so we could all go inside and warm up. We gladly accepted those terms and before long someone who was obviously colder than the rest of us pointed out that if we finish the game 15mins early we could all just go home now. Sounds good.
Peep, peep, peeeeep. Full time. Elite winners 3-1
Time to get out of the cold into the sheds where Niall’s nipples made it to the showers 5 minutes before he did.
3 - Rosco: Another game another hattrick. Not bad for a washed up right back.
2 - Decs: Made it through his early morning ultra-marathon/deathrace to come and shout at us for a solid hour.
1 - Rori: Played the conditions (and Dec’s instructions), wasn’t afraid to ping it up field away from danger then made a nuisance of himself when we were defending.
Write-up By Dave
Elite 11 - 0 Petone
Saturday rolls around and it’s Game Day!
It's a gorgeous day for football
The pitch is ready:
Ganes wakes up hungover:
Niall jumps into his car and heads off to the game:
CJ does his hair:
Damo quickly talks some business with associates:
Decs gets in his pre game stretches:
Pat misses homes:
Clem has breakfast:
And so does Roger:
Tim and Louis realise they aren’t both playing today:
Stu pushes through the injuries stronger than ever:
Rori warms up his whistle:
The opposition organise enough people for a futsal game:
Adam shows no mercy:
While Ross introduces himself to the opposition keeper:
Dave remains injured on the sidelines:
And Crespo talks himself up:
Steve watches on unseen:
I could talk about Ross continuing his goal scoring form and reaching 26 for the season, or Clem roofing it expertly not once but twice, or CJ standing wide open screaming for the ball, or Roger demonstrating exactly where the keeper is standing by giving him the ball each time he shot.
But instead I think after that game the one issue that really needs addressing is to point Niall to: this
We are here for you buddy.
2 - Ross - I guess he got a goal or made a tackle or something.
2 - Tim - Owned the hell out of that side of the park and shut down both Doug and Louis hard.
1 - Damo - Broke up play and shut down any chance they had. Two goal saving diving headers and given his goal scoring chances you wouldn't have even known he didn't get a run up front.
1 - Roger - Spent the first half whpping in crosses and running his arse off. Even got his goal in the end - but I mean you did have enough chances!
Rédigé par Clement
Le match qui avait etait annule il y a quelques semaines a ete reporte ce Lundi soir, 19h40. Toujours un Plaisir de jouer le soir, en particulier sur un terrain en synthetique a l oppose d un terrain ou il y a plus de boue que d herbe comme on en a l habitude…
Elite contre Brooklyn, 4eme ex eacquo donc la victoire est indispensable.
Coup d envois et chaque montee de ballon est stoppee par une bonne defense du cote de Brooklyn, nous n arrivons pas vraiment a se creer de l espace et perdont beaucoup de ballons.
Brooklyn et leur deux milieu de terrains espagnols arrivent a s infiltrer dans la defense et un zero…
Nous n arrivons pas a excecuter de bons mouvements entre le milieu et l attaque et esayons de trop trop jouer ballons en l air ce qui ne fonctionne pas. Un contre et peu etre quelques fautes de marquage et 2 0 pour Brooklyn… Declan qui s enerve contre tout le monde comme d habitude, Stu qui lui demande de fermer sa bouche, quand on se prend la tete entre nous ce n est jamais bon signe…
Quelques bonnes accelerations de Ross qui n arrivent pas a aboutir. Tirs d Adam et Clem mais pas assez inquietant et au mieux nous nous en sortont avec quelques corners et on peut ressentir que Steve O manque sur ces corners pourtant assez dangereux.
Une autre montee du cote de Brooklyn et surement de ces putins d espagnols, un centre au deuxieme poteaux et 3 0 pour Brooklyn.
A partir de la nous commencons a mieux jouer, on conserve mieux le ballon et on arrive bien a faire tourner la balle dans nos pieds, le jeu semble plus equilibre et l arbiter siffle la mi temps.
Malheuresement apres un gros tacle Adam doit sortir avec une douleur a la cheville
Quelques changements de joueurs, Niall qui faisait pourtant une bonne premiere mi temps sur son cote laisse sa place a Louis, Genzy renter en jeu ainsi que Rodger.
Deuxieme mi temps et un jeu plus pose, plus simple avec de bons ballons dans les pieds, le ballon tourne bien toujours en passant par Declan au milieu de terrain , nous gagnons nos duels et sommes premiers a la tete.
Un ballon qui deborde sur le cote droit, passe en retrait pour Decs qui tir une balle qui semble partir sur le parkin mais non elle redescent en renter en pleine lucarne ne laissant aucune chance au gardien adverse. Decs meme lui ne sait pas comment il a fait…
Quelques bonnes accelerations, quelques tirs toujours detournes par le gardien.
Une bonne transversale de Declan pour Ross qui plus vite que la lumiere deviance le gardien et ajuste un plat du pied dans le petit filet.
Elite en pleine forme et plus motive que jamais continue a pousser.
Un coup francs a 20-25 metres de Stu qui part bien mais la encore le gardien est la.
Malheuresement dans les 10 derniers minutes un contre pour Brooklyn et nous sommes a 4-2
On ne baisse pas les bras et continue a jouer a fond mais ce n est pas suffisant, fin du match et 4-2
Rien a dire, nous aurions pu etre meilleur en premiere mi temps mais nous avons produit du beau jeu et nous nous sommes battu jusqu’ a la fin en equipe…
Semaine prochaine nous allons ecraser Petone…
Points 3. Declan a mene le jeu au milieu de terrain, un manifique but et une passe decisive
Points 2. Ross, toujours dangereux dans ses accelerations et un beau but
Points 1. F knows! Damo pour ses habituels gros tacles
Now people sort your life and find a translator :P
Elite Match Reports