Write-up by Rori
It’s your old mate Rori here.
Thought I’d pop on by and spin you a bit of a yarn about some lads that attempted to play some kick and chase for 90minutes on the weekend.
It’s been a bit of a rough old season for the stalwarts of the Elite with the stark realisation that with two seasons under the belt I am currently the second longest serving player in the team, fair to say this then is a bit of a rebuilding year with only 6 players from the last season coming back to form the backbone of the team. Despite this and the constant line-up changes those six have been absolute stalwarts week in week out, well except Angus who has decided he needs a new girlfriend so is heading to Korea to find one after this game after his successful conquest of Canada last year, oh and Tim who tends to think Uni holidays & partying is more important than the team, and don’t forget Jase who’s “Family Holiday” to the states was worth 6 games out…. Fuck it I’m beginning to realise I am the stalwart, the lynchpin, the backbone to this team not to mention the hero.
Right where was I, ahhh yes our season so far, well the first half was nine games and we decided to give nine different line ups a go, whoever said a settled line up was the key to success had clearly not seen how a patched and ramshackle Elite performs under pressure. With a hiss and a roar we showed up to the first game and promptly got spanked 2-4 but the Elite’s hero, stalwart and idealisation of discipline (Myself) was absent so we put that behind us and reset the next week. With our hero returned we continued the first half finishing with winning six, drawing one, and losing two scoring a mighty 28 goals and conceding 16, these results put us into second and promoted for the second half of the season to the mighty Capital Football Five (Which is not actually the 5th division it is in fact the 7th division) where occasionally we theoretically could get ref’s, yes yes they theoretically could be biased, over officious C*nts that had nothing else to do but complain about our socks but come dressed as a Full Kit Wanker with the cards to prove they are a serious referee.
Stable line up HA the Elite laughs at your football idealisms, 9 games, 9 line ups, second place WE ARE ELITE!!
Right round 13 here we are with our 12th different line up (Don’t let the 12 confuse you into thinking we tried the same line up twice, one game we had round 10 postponed), our fearless Captain Shane is claiming injury to head off surfing, but not to worry our longest serving member Tim is he…… oh wait no its Uni holidays he is off gallivanting half naked around a fairy pool in Auckland saying a prayer to whatever god/goddess/meth head/or hooker will listen to him to keep his duct tapped wrapped, diesel powered, sheila mobile running for another year, damn that means no chance of his sisters about during the game sigh, ahh well our hero Rori is here to step up taking the arm band and lead these lads through the trenches to victory.
We have a couple of new lads joining us today so shaped up in the unfamiliar 4,2,3,1 with yours truly between the stick and the intention to focus on defence and attack up the wings which right from the first whistle looked like it was going to pay off, our right side combo of Macka and Gazza were making were making a fair whack of it getting to the top but we just couldn’t find any sort of final product. The game settled into a pretty even back and forth with the Elite’s stalwart defence being by Angus and Dan as the dream centre pairing we had been waiting for nothing was getting through, Stu was dominating the centre of the park being an absolute anchor but the game truly opened up when we brought on Saji to give him a bit of a hand and you thought it was just a matter of time before we started putting them away, of course this is when the Greek’s scored, the elite caught on the counter and the lack of match fitness coupled with the wingback attacking style we were asking of Macca finally showed as the opposition broke down our right and with Macca struggling to recover unleashed a floating shot from the top corner of the box over the keeper and perfectly into the far top corner.
Well this was it, we could put our heads down remember the terror of the previous week where our keeper let in 7 in the first half or we could pick ourselves up, with a ROAR I let rip some words of inspiration that positively fired the blood we were the Elite and the Greeks don’t beat us in our house. Once again your hero saves the day my rousing speech was flowing through the teams veins as we immediately get back on attack and less than five minutes later we win a corner, Levi with my inspirational words flowing through him steps up to take the corner looks up and figures you know what this crossing business for others to take the glory is overrated so promptly flicks it with a curl coming in just out of the reach of the keeper into the back of the net.
Half time arrives at 1 all and the elite come off feeling a bit hard done by our, defensive triangle is absolutely dominating and our wide players are making the Greeks look like school children it’s just the finished product we are missing but with only a single striker Turk was working hard and we knew it would come. Queue more rousing speeches form your hero and the mighty Angus and we were back for the second half.
Peep the Ref in shades blows for the second half which was a much more worrisome battle the Greeks had clearly also had a rousing speech at half time and came out fired up, it was a half of strong football with Jase catching everything in the air anywhere near him and Stu unleashing some trademark Defensive Mid tackles, Rolf doing his trademark ballerina turns then whiffing shots. But the Greeks kept pushing forcing your hero in goal into a few scary saves including two close range shots saved right off the line, this just seemed to fire the Elite boys up even more turning the game on its head again as the Elite again took control and maybe got a bit too excited as Stu went sliding in full commitment about two seconds after the ball had moved on cause the Greeks to rile up and get shouty and one tried to drop Jase who was having none of it and seen as a bit too aggressive holding his ground peep 5 minute sin bin for Jase and the Greek as signalled by shades the ref. This just fired the elite up even more and heading into the dying minutes Turk finally managed to find himself bombing in form the top left of the box one on one with the keeper before performing his signature top spin toe poke which left the keeper on the ground and the ball comfortably far post in the back of the net.
30 more seconds and the final whistle came to a jubilant Elite who won a solid game of paddock ball kick, an amazing performance all round lads a good tough even game tha we kept our heads until the end. To celebrate we went back to the clubbies and drank up Angus' fine money until he was reminded it was his last game and he hadn’t scored a goal this season and he had a certain lap of the track to perform, he stopped buying beers after this the cheap c*nt.
2 Stu – Dominating Display yet again
2 Angus/Dan – A rock in defence
1 Saji – Game changer when he came on
1 Turk – Not easy being up front by yourself but he worked until the end and got the result.
Good Luck Gus, I understand that may be your last game in Elite colours, it’s been a pleasure man all the best for the future and the girlfriend hunt.