Vs Naenae, Wakefield Park, 5 August

Elite 4 - 2 Naenae

Write-up by Dave

It’s a typical pre-match evening. The Elite prepare for yet another battle – each team member focused on their usual pre-match rituals:

Niall sneaks outside for some fresh air

Crespo wears his favourite disco shirt while rocking a baby to sleep

CJ quietly flirts with the bartenders at the realm

Adam does all the shit Dave has been too busy to do

Jase selects a suitable box for the night

Stu nurses a calf injury

Dave is still at work.

Pete chases a ball through the streets

Ganes ducks through a doorway but is too hungover to stand up again

Damo flies to yet another city to bail out one of his mules – I mean to run an “expo”

Todd plots ways to avoid people showing up to his birthday party

SteveO balances a ball on his nose and claps

Scott falls down yet another cliff to impress a girl

Doug gets dropped home by the cops

Tom isn’t a doctor-

Bryn strokes his glorious moustache

Horton stands on a breakwater with his fist in the air, re-enacting his favourite scene from his favourite movie

Greg wishes Adam still snuggled up with him on cold nights

Noel consoles Greg

Decs eats a potato

Game day arrives and a scramble in made from workplaces all over the city to make it to Wakefield on what promises to be a cold and windy night. Tragedy strikes. Not a breath of wind in sight – how will be know which wing to play it down in the first half?

Some dodgy number conversion by an elderly gentleman leaves newest recruit Noel without a pair of shoes for the match (or perhaps Jase’s feet were extra cold that night). Some quick re-arranging leaves the team fully shod but several players in some interesting sizes. The five minute warning from the ref actually turns out to be the kick- off whistle. Dave “Clown Shows” Richardson sprints onto the pitch and following a couple of silky touches by the mid-field he runs onto a glorious through-ball from Ganes and laces it home first time. 1-0. Dream start to the match. For Naenae.

Yet another first ten minute horror show out of the way and the Elite begin to settle into their work properly.

The game was a stark contrast – one team trying to play long balls and get in behind, while the other works its forward along the  deck and tries (sometimes unsuccessfully) to hold possession and look for better chances.

A pacey backline and the lack of wind favours the Elite as we cut out long balls well and frustrate their forwards, continuing to play our game and the chances come.

I won’t pretend to know the order of the goals nor am I even convinced on the goal scorers at this point – YAY work-lifer balance!

Naenae score from a very good header connecting onto a perfectly floated cross but at this point they are already behind.

But a double to Noel – including an extremely cool striker’s finish and a well won looping header from Greg leaves the Englishmen flat securing the result for the Elite – leaving Horton the odd-man out but luckily he’s not the sort to get wound up about such things. Oh and that other goal but that doesn’t really fit into this particular narrative (Sorry Damo!).

Horribly late write-up lads sorry!

MVP points

2 Points – Noel - You’re basically leading the golden boot now aren’t you? In my boots no less!
2 Points - Adam - Controlled the mid-field well, set-up chances and also puts up with how unhelpful I am with organising at the moment!
1 Point – Damo – cut out long balls well and got on the score sheet.
1 Point – Greg – continues to boss his area as well as chipping in with goals, who can complain about that.

-10 Points – Me - what a shocker. At least I know one award I’m winning this year!